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Thursday, July 27, 2006
Your kids might be Rednecks if . . . . .
Ok. . . . I recognize it is an overused genre-- the redneck thing. But the file clearly works for what happens in my home of late.

For starters. . . .

Your kids might be Rednecks if their Mom actually takes used John Deere Motorized Gators from Helping Hand Donation Bays for the "parts" leaving such gutted gators on would be blocks in the front yard. (see photo)

Your kids might be Rednecks if. . . . . .

just the other morning we had a guest in our home. Mary Kathryn (4) quickly warmed to the friend, showcasing her newfound ability to whistle. All day long now she whistles-- a single note over and over and over in short sustained quarter-notes. Our guest lauded her new found gift, inquiring as to whether her older brother, David (6) could whistle too. With a mild look of satisfaction she replied, "No." And then in an impressive effort to avoid boasting, she quickly added, "But he can burp his ABC's." At which point David, who was standing nearby proceeded to audibly burp out the entire alphabet. I was stunned. . . . and honestly. . . . . . impressed. It's a clear redneck attribute.

After that one this one is anticlimactic for sure-- but David and friends spent the afternoon yesterday producing limited edition artwork to hang in their newly created Art Museum (a.k.a. TreeHouse) in the backyard. Again-- clearly demonstrating solid redneck giftings.

As you can see from the works featured in the treehouse gallery, there is some sophistication in the themes. Note the traditional calvary cross as contrasted with the Assisi cross next to it. Also note the framing of the two crosses. To the left we see the iconic world photo with seeming desperate inhabitants waving for help. And to the right. . . . . . could that be an impressionistic allusion to a "Big Big House with lots and lots of rooms?" Could this be a bit of narratival-theo- story-boarding demonstrated by the young redneck master.

Finally note in the "Lightning Strikes the Ocean" piece (a.k.a. "That was a close one!) how the terrified family apparently seeks not only a refuge on the water but in the highest possible place, the single most likely place that lightning would likely strike. It's the classic redneck pose of daring nature to "hit me."

posted by John David Walt | at 7/27/2006 02:20:00 PM



Blogger Omar said...

okay... i give. what is an "assisi cross?"

2:51 PM EDT  
Blogger Nolan said...

You seem surprised, John David. Their dad is from Arkansas!

3:12 PM EDT  
Anonymous michele francesca said...

"...how the terrified family apparently seeks not only a refuge on the water but in the highest possible place, the single most likely place that lightning would likely strike."

You really crack me up J.D.! Trust you to really think about something. Brilliant!!

Okay pardon me (I do live on the other side of the world), but what is a "redneck"?

4:05 PM EDT  
Anonymous Matthew said...

I was going to write what Nolan did, but then I remembered who I am.

4:48 PM EDT  
Blogger coach said...

JD sounds like you are a buncha farmers. These are things we do, well not the art museum, we wern't that cultured, but I love the gator. Now all you need is a calf named Betsy to show in the county fair...which I did!

7:15 PM EDT  
Blogger melissa d. said...

I always smile when Safari politely informs me that you've posted, because I know it's gonna be good. I'm never disappointed!

11:27 PM EDT  
Blogger Susanna said...

Your kid can burp his way through the ABC's? That's awesome.

10:03 AM EDT  
Blogger Michel said...

I don't know how many rednecks create art galleries to begin with JD. However, it is a funny thought. Can you imagine the tour guides? Hmmm....

--Insert Wavy Lines Here--

"Greetin's Ya'all. My name is Lurleen and I'm ur tour guide. If you'll follow me right into the Kenny Rogers Wing to ur left...ur other left... good job, we'll get started. This first piece of sculpture is a whimsical tribute to nautical life. Walk past it or press the red button and it will sing one of four songs. The Title of this piece is "Billy the Large Mouth Bass".

This next piece is a painting that used to hang in the Bush Whitehouse. It is a wonderful anthropomorphic piece dating back to the renaissance. It's called "Dog's Playing Poker".This piece originally created in the High renaissance of 1962 actually spawned several other pieces. "Dogs playing pool". "Dogs swimming" and of course the less popular modern work "Dogs at the Beauty Pagent."

Now if you'll just follow me we'll head on into the Piggley Wiggley gallery for our new interactive modern exhibit... "Fried Food of the Delta". On display today, fried pickles, fried oreos, and fried breaded sticks of butter with a maynaise dipping sauce... Do I hear someones stomach growling?

11:42 PM EDT  
Blogger JohnDeere said...

touche! nice work

9:16 AM EDT  
Blogger b.h. swan said...

Your such a redneck J.D.

2:23 PM EDT  
Blogger wes said...

Dear JD,
I've missed you this summer but you have been in my thoughts and prayers. Your ears to hear and eyes to see reminder helped me everymorn to start the day off in the mindset of the utimate lover and creator. Two things I hope to greatly improve on in Wilmore. Only two more weeks till I get to jump on the trampoline with the fantastic four. Thanks for being so hospitable and welcoming to Mike and I on our visit. you showed us what kind of people Wimore holds and made our decision that much easier. Your support of my life has been very important to me. I cherish it. Thanks

10:23 PM EDT  
Blogger David Wofford said...

That one makes me laugh. I'm convinced that there is at the very least a "country" gene and appearantly your children have earned it with pride!

...I shed a tear of joy for this glorious continuance of authentic flavor!

12:34 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Enjoyed reading your BLOG. This is an unknown world to me. Your children are so precious....I wish that we could see in person. I told Eric no wonder we never hear from you. How do you have time to keep all of this Blogging Up?

Your forgotten friend in Arkansas.

Susie Q

12:39 PM EDT  

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